What Happens When MEN Finally Speak Up About Assault? (Part 2)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: So what moves slower than science? The government? [00:00:05] Speaker B: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Silence Voices of mst. I'm your host, Rachelle Smith. This is part two of Brian's story. As you know, we're in a new format. So part two is going to be his life after separating from the military. And not gonna lie to you, it's pretty colorful. And sure it resembles a lot of people's where you're just fumbling around, you're not really sure who you can trust, what to do, maybe you're coping with some not so healthy things. But in this section is a turning point in Brian's story where he comes across a magazine article that changes his life. So I'm going to let him tell that part. All I wanted to mention was that if this story is having an impact on you, please go ahead and leave us a comment or review. 5 stars on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast and also on YouTube. The visibility definitely helps and please feel free to give Brian a shout out on our social media or even leaving him a message on Salute to Survivors. And just stay tuned till the end of the show so that I can share some more updates and details about the Silence Voices and our direction from here. So we're gonna let Brian take it away. [00:01:28] Speaker C: When I got out, I got, got a degree in marketing, worked for a couple of years. I got married, got unmarried, went to grad school, got, got an mba, worked about a dozen years in corporate, worked my way up. Miserable every step of the way, lost, flashbacks, nightmares, all that stuff. Constantly, even today, just, it's constantly and. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Every, like every year or a couple, every couple of times every year for. [00:01:56] Speaker C: For 14 years I would look online and see if I could find someone to like help me out with this. [00:02:01] Speaker A: And I was earlier, it was the earlier days, right, like, so it was harder to find information. [00:02:05] Speaker C: I just hit dead end after dead end after dead end. [00:02:09] Speaker A: And like I said, I worked my way up corporate. I was in New York, New York. [00:02:13] Speaker C: New Jersey area, working for Jose Cuervo. I was running strategy for sales and marketing, running C level meetings and stuff like that. But I was still miserable and I had this freeze. Like I froze at my desk for like three months. I just stared at my computer screen every day for like three months. And there was something that my boss wanted to get done. It was like 2 million dollar discrepancy. [00:02:38] Speaker A: Half a billion dollar company or however much it is, you know, it's Jose. [00:02:41] Speaker C: Cuervo, it's a huge company. But like in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much money, but it's significant, right? And it took me three months to figure it out. And it was a pretty easy problem, pretty easy solution. So I got fired shortly after that. [00:02:58] Speaker A: At that point, I was like, man, I don't, I don't know what to. [00:03:01] Speaker C: Do with my life. [00:03:02] Speaker A: You know, what am I gonna do? I was early 30s, I'm miserable in my corporate career, miserable. [00:03:20] Speaker C: I decided that I was going to drop everything and move to China and figure it out. [00:03:24] Speaker D: All right, plot twist, okay, plot. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Big time, big time plot twist. [00:03:30] Speaker C: Yes. [00:03:31] Speaker A: I decided to do that. [00:03:32] Speaker C: Took a job at a university teaching, like business skills in English. [00:03:37] Speaker A: But just before I left the country. [00:03:40] Speaker C: I was having dinner with my parents and my sister and her family at, at their house in New York. I'm doom scrolling Twitter. I just, I happen to come across this article that's from gq. It's called Sun Men don't get okay. And I was like, oh yeah, Click. [00:03:57] Speaker A: Clicked on that and I started reading through this thing. It was basically an expose with like. [00:04:01] Speaker C: I don't know, a dozen or so other men that had been in the military. MST survivors throughout the years, from like, numb to present, maybe even earlier than that. But they're talking about the things that they'd experienced and how it's affected their lives and stuff. And I'm just like, holy. Like, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me. Like, what the. [00:04:18] Speaker A: And then toward the end of it. [00:04:19] Speaker C: It said, if you or anyone you. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Know has experienced something like this, contact. [00:04:24] Speaker C: NV lsp, which is not National Veterans Legal Services Providers. [00:04:29] Speaker A: I remember when I was transitioning out, I remember they said, if you have, if there's anything wrong with your records, you've got like 15 years to figure it out, right? You file a claim with the, the NDRB, right? 15 years. But once you hit that 15 year mark, then it goes to the archives and you got to go to bcnr. It's going to take you decades to get it corrected, blah, blah, blah. So like it's been like, that must have been. That was 2014. So it'd been 12 years since I've. [00:04:52] Speaker C: Been discharged, 13 years since the, the incident was kind of like, well, if I don't, if I don't send an email, you know, like, it's like one last chance kind of thing. So I'm like, it, you know, I just put together an email. I'm like, hey, you know, this is my little bit about my story, blah. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Blah, blah, Send, hit send. And I flew to China. Like, I don't know, a couple weeks. [00:05:11] Speaker C: Later, went to Beijing. While I was there, I got an email from this law firm. They decided to pick up my case, pick up my claim. And basically over the course of, I. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Mean, the China thing's a long story, but like, so I'm not going to get into that, but that's China's where. [00:05:27] Speaker C: I found my path as a storyteller, the writer and producer. As luck would have it, I met somebody that needed a producer for this friendly soccer match between Manchester United and Liverpool in Australia. Jumped at that chance and I produced that. I also met this guy at a coffee shop while I was doing that, who happened to be an Oscar winning movie producer. Showed me a trailer that he was working on and I like, that's. This chill went down my spine and I'm like, that's what I got to do. I got to tell stories. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Telling stories, right? [00:05:55] Speaker C: Like telling stories that matter. [00:06:00] Speaker A: That's kind of how I found my path. But like, while, while I was there. [00:06:04] Speaker C: The majority of the four years that I was in Beijing, that's when we were doing a lot of this legal process. But over the course of eight years, from 2014 until nine years, I guess. [00:06:17] Speaker A: 20, 2014 until 2023. [00:06:23] Speaker C: October, I think October 2023, my lawyers and I, we worked on the case a billion times, a billion different ways. And first, through the ndrb, we were able to file a successful claim that got my discharge shifted upwards to general under honorable conditions, which that, that paved the way for VA benefits, health care, mental health care and stuff like that. Getting my claims processed still took a while to make those happen, probably two years or so. And we filed a claim with the BCN Board for Corrections of Naval Records. They have one with every branch filed the claim. I'm like, I have a general under honorable conditions now. And I'm dipping my toes in like VSOs and other veteran organizations. Right. I'm trying to get involved and be a part of this thing. Right, right. And every organization I tried to get. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Involved with, they're like, well, it's honorable, yes, but it's general under honorable conditions. [00:07:19] Speaker C: You have to explain to us why it's general and so cool. [00:07:23] Speaker A: Now I'm forced to tell my story just because I want to participate in something, you know, I was pretty much done with my VA claims and everything seemed to be pretty much wrapped up. [00:07:33] Speaker C: But I told my lawyers, look, this. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Thing with the general and having to. [00:07:35] Speaker C: Explain this Stuff like this sucks. Like, I should have had an honorable discharge. I should have been medically retired. [00:07:42] Speaker A: And they're like, well, we can, we'll try for, we can try for the honorable, but you know, the odds are stacked against you. But we'll shoot for, you know, changing the reason narrative. Reason for separation from misconduct to secretarial. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Authority, which is basically a blanket statement, just covers it up. [00:07:56] Speaker A: And I was like, we didn't come this far just to come this far. You know what I mean? I should have been medically retired. I should have been honorably discharged. I've been dealt an injustice for 20 something years, right? Like, give me a break. [00:08:11] Speaker C: Like, well, I'll just stacked against you. I'm like, they've been stacked against me. [00:08:15] Speaker A: From day one for as far as this stuff is concerned. [00:08:18] Speaker C: Let's go for it. We put together a case and submitted the claim with the BCNR. [00:08:23] Speaker A: I think it took 15 months to. [00:08:24] Speaker C: The day from, from the day we submitted it. They looked at everything, laid everything on the table, you know, the drug use, the. The other items of miscon. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Just put it all out there. [00:08:35] Speaker C: The panel reviewed it, including a mental health professional, and in a unanimous decision, they all stated that all of my misconduct was a direct result of my ptsd, because I was not, I didn't. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Have any misconduct beforehand. So I said all of that was. [00:08:52] Speaker C: A direct result of my ptsd. And I was halfway through a med board process which should have been completed. So they changed my discharge to honorable. Full honorable discharge, medical retirement. [00:09:04] Speaker D: That's amazing. [00:09:05] Speaker C: And I don't have to fight anymore. [00:09:07] Speaker A: That decision was rendered in September of 2023. [00:09:11] Speaker D: Wow. So you have been fighting that long? [00:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it's been a long road. Been a long road. [00:09:20] Speaker D: And can I ask, when you. When you did get separated and you tried to just make it through getting your education and joining the corporate world, were you still kind of like white knuckling it and self medicating? [00:09:35] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, A lot of drinking. A lot of drinking, A lot of hooking up. I joined a business fraternity in college. [00:09:41] Speaker C: And at our chapter, they'd give out awards every single semester. And all three semesters that I was in, I was awarded blackout king, which. [00:09:48] Speaker A: Is like, how awesome is that? [00:09:50] Speaker C: I mean, come on, you know, I wasn't just like this raging alcoholic party animal, dude. I was, I was struggling and just nobody knew. [00:09:58] Speaker A: You know, most people didn't even know that I was a veteran. [00:10:02] Speaker C: I didn't share that. I hid it for 15 years. [00:10:05] Speaker A: But there was a lot of drinking A lot of hooking up. [00:10:08] Speaker C: I've been with a lot of women. [00:10:10] Speaker A: I remember when I was pledging that business fraternity, it was co ed. [00:10:15] Speaker C: Like my pledge class was 13, and it was me and one other guy. The rest were girls. And we had this going around the room one time asking these personal questions. And this question that I was asked was how many girls that I've had, I've been with. And I didn't want to answer the number. [00:10:30] Speaker A: Like, no, come on, you can trust us. We're all like business fraternity brothers, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay. And so I shared the number. And there were. There were a couple of girls that I was, like, interested in, and I shared the number. And that squashed any chance of that. [00:10:45] Speaker D: Is it just like crickets? [00:10:48] Speaker A: I think one of them might have thrown up in their mouth. I don't know. You know, I understand, though. [00:10:55] Speaker D: I completely understand, you know? [00:10:58] Speaker A: Yeah. I've gone through phases where I smoked. [00:11:00] Speaker C: A lot of weed. I've gone through phases where I did that. But also a lot of phases where I don't even touch it. I haven't smoked weed. And I don't know, probably a year or two, and I really don't care to. Yeah, just not really a part of my life. [00:11:12] Speaker D: Like, some people really benefit from it, and then there's other people where it totally derails their mental health at the same time. [00:11:22] Speaker A: For me. Yeah, just. I mean, it's. For me, like, I've got the constant, constant flashbacks. It's just cycles in my head, like a broken record. And so what I'd notice is that. [00:11:31] Speaker C: If I'm smoking weed, I'm just stuck in my head. And I didn't say it's even worse. Right. [00:11:36] Speaker A: I'm pro weed. If you want to do it, I. [00:11:37] Speaker C: Don'T give a. I think it should be legal, whatever. I just don't care for it. But, like, some of the things that I've learned over the years that really keep me kind of together. One is meditation. I meditate like five days a week, pretty much every morning. It's one of the first things I do. There's that. Another is I keep my mind occupied, trying new things, focusing on things that take a lot of work. I spent five years writing that book. You know, hopefully it's gonna be published in the next six to 12 months. Oh, that was. [00:12:07] Speaker A: That was hard as hell because I'm. [00:12:08] Speaker C: Diving deep into these stories that I'm telling you. [00:12:11] Speaker D: Right. [00:12:12] Speaker C: That was really hard. Like going to China where everything was brand new. I didn't speak the language. I didn't know anybody, had never been there. Every day was literally. [00:12:21] Speaker A: It was just like that. Gunny said every day was something new. And I was like, gee, what am I gonna do today? What's the big adventure? You know, just keeping my mind, keeping myself occupied, because I feel like the more that my mind is, the more. [00:12:35] Speaker C: Busy my mind is, the farther away the demons are. [00:12:38] Speaker D: Understandable. [00:12:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:47] Speaker D: How long did it take you to kind of figure out what was going to work best for you in terms of keeping the demons at bay? [00:12:55] Speaker A: I think I'll be learning that the rest of my life. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I got that general. My discharge was changed to general in 2018 of 2018. [00:13:10] Speaker C: Took almost a year for me to be able to get into the VA because there was some weird shit going on in the system. I basically had to go in there kicking and screaming that I needed therapy. [00:13:19] Speaker A: And they finally were like, okay, I guess we'll. I guess we'll talk to you. [00:13:24] Speaker D: Yeah, I always hate to hear that. [00:13:28] Speaker C: I've had my experiences with the VA hit and miss. Some are better than others, but some doctors are better than others, whatever. But I think overall, I think their heart's in the right place. [00:13:37] Speaker A: So what is it, 2024 now? I've been going to the VA pretty regularly for about five years. [00:13:44] Speaker C: I say regularly, like, there are periods where it's two to three times a week, four or five times a week, or it's, you know, once a week or once every other week or something like that. But it's. [00:13:52] Speaker A: I'm regular enough that I go in. [00:13:54] Speaker C: There and the security guards are like, oh, he. [00:13:56] Speaker A: Hi again. They know me. [00:13:58] Speaker D: You know what I mean? [00:14:00] Speaker A: But, you know, like, even. Even at the va, you know, in the last five years, I mean, I've gone through. I want to say either three or four psychologists have given up on me. [00:14:11] Speaker C: They said there's nothing more than they can do for me. They've tried everything. I had a psychiatrist that gave up on me. I've been fortunate to have my current psychiatrist. I've had. I've been with him for probably two or three years. We get along and we talk about some real. Some real shit. He's. He. He's there for me, and he's not. He's not gonna give up. [00:14:31] Speaker D: So that's so. [00:14:33] Speaker A: So. So it's. [00:14:34] Speaker C: So. [00:14:34] Speaker A: It's hit and miss. But, like. But, like, through all of that, you know, I've done. I've done every VA therapy that they. [00:14:39] Speaker C: Offer for ptsd, every, every Alphabet soup, therapeutical treatment, you know, cbt, dbt, all of it. You know, I've tried all these things. [00:14:50] Speaker A: And, and nothing's worked. [00:14:51] Speaker C: But what things that I've gotten from them are, you know, I can. I can pull a few things here and there, right. Keep. Keep myself grounded. The meditation stuff, trying, focusing on being present. Right. Yeah, I don't drink very much anymore. Pretty. It's a lot less frequent than. I mean, I was at a point one time just before I got in the va, I was drinking probably four or five nights a week. Like, you know, you can relate. [00:15:19] Speaker D: You know, it was seven days a week. It started. [00:15:22] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it was probably Fridays. [00:15:25] Speaker D: Then it was Saturdays and Fridays. Then it was Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because it was like, oh, we'll go to brunch. And then next thing you know, it's like, oh, we're gonna go to quarter beers on Wednesday. And then it's ladies night on Thursday. And then next thing you know, you're at the bars every single night. And like, when you're walking in, like, high fiving all the bouncers and hugging them and the bartenders already know what want, it's just like, oh, God. [00:15:51] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [00:15:53] Speaker D: I think I have a problem, like. And because also in that environment, you're exposed to a wide assortment of other treats we'll call them. So it's never. Just never just one thing. So. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah, but the thing is, the thing is with that though is like, that stuff is like, that's coping, right? That's like, you know, it's not normal behavior. [00:16:21] Speaker C: Right. For me, a couple of things. One is I'm writing this book because, you know, there's 20,000 men and women every year that are sex in the military. That's a fact. You can look that number up and. [00:16:35] Speaker A: Half of those number are men. [00:16:36] Speaker C: Half of that 20,000 are men. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Like, fucking a women. You guys have been like shouting from the rooftops for a long time. [00:16:43] Speaker C: You guys are the me too movement. [00:16:45] Speaker A: And all these other things, right? Like, people listen, right? But the men, we don't have a voice. It's one of the most emasculating things that a male, especially a straight male, and not to judge for other people, but like, in my experience as a straight male and other straight males that. [00:17:01] Speaker C: I've met, it's one of the most emasculating, embarrassing things you could possibly deal with. You got to live with it. [00:17:06] Speaker A: Most people that I've come across, they isolate themselves. They don't not Just not talk about it. I know a guy who's a male MSC survivor who lived in the woods for like 10 years and some somebody's property that he knows. And then after, when he was done with that, he moved to Peru and lived in a hotel by himself and didn't. Didn't leave the place for the men. We. They isolate and they don't know who to tell because it's like the most embarrassing thing ever. So there's no voice. I'm telling my story to be that voice. Like, you know, I've been there, I've experienced it, I've lived with it ever since. I happen to be intelligent and articulate, and I have. I have a background in marketing, PR strategy, and I've been doing story crafting and producing and stuff like that for like eight years now at high levels. So if not me, then who kind of thing. [00:18:03] Speaker D: Exactly. [00:18:03] Speaker A: A Right on the other side, the reason I was starting to talk about that, from the drinking stuff, the coping. [00:18:10] Speaker C: Stuff, on the other side of that. [00:18:12] Speaker A: Is that you and me and everybody who's gone through something like this, any. Any level of ptsd, right, Whether it's MSC or otherwise combat, right? The. Nobody's really cracked the code on how to fix it, right? Not really. Not really. There's plenty of them out there. Like, oh, I can do this. I just. Try this, try this, try this. Whatever. Stella, ganglion block or this thing or what. [00:18:33] Speaker D: Dude, I got one of those. Yeah, I got one of those. It was so painful and then did absolutely nothing. This is needle is like this big, right? [00:18:46] Speaker A: But like, you know, but like, there's all these different, like, ideas and therapies and treatments out there that people are like, yeah, this works. But like, no one's really cracked the code. Like, these behaviors are because we're suffering in silence. Male, female, in between. Part of what I do, what I'm doing is, you know, a. I'm writing the book telling my story to help raise this issue even more. [00:19:11] Speaker C: Be a voice for the voiceless. [00:19:12] Speaker A: But also my producing partner and I. [00:19:14] Speaker C: Are working on putting together a travel show documentary of sorts where we're looking at different warrior cultures around the world. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Explore. Exploring rituals and ceremonies that are performed on or with the warriors when they return from battle. [00:19:31] Speaker C: Right? There's some warrior cultures have been around for, like, thousands of years, and they. [00:19:36] Speaker A: Don'T necessarily have these same problems. [00:19:39] Speaker C: Some of these cultures that we're finding, like, they come back from battle and there's a cleansing purification ritual or something, or there's this or maybe they sit. [00:19:47] Speaker A: Around a campfire and tell about everything they saw and experienced or they're welcomed home or. Like, there's different things. [00:19:53] Speaker C: Different things. [00:19:54] Speaker A: Right. They're allowed to process. [00:19:56] Speaker D: Process, yeah. Yep. You know, that's a huge part of it. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Do you think that would be part of it? [00:20:06] Speaker D: To have maybe if it's not so much in person, but having some sort of, I guess, ritual or ceremony or something that just validates people where. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:20:21] Speaker D: A lot of. From what I've heard from guests that have shared their stories is, of course, the assault or event or events was horrible, but it was the after where people wouldn't make eye contact with them. Like, you were my harassment. Right. So they said that was actually worse because you feel broken, you're angry, you're scared, you're tired because you're not sleeping, but. And everyone treats you like you have, I don't know, leprosy or something. [00:20:52] Speaker A: Right, Right. Scarlet Letter, that whole thing. [00:20:56] Speaker D: Yes. [00:20:57] Speaker A: You know, in, like, in my situation, like, I fought for 23 years to. [00:21:05] Speaker C: Get any sort of vindication. So, I mean, even that. Just the constant battle, Right. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Like, I have to remind myself every day since. [00:21:12] Speaker C: Since I was October that I don't have to fight anymore. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Like, I can stop fighting the military. I can stop fighting government, you know? Like what. [00:21:22] Speaker C: You know, when I. [00:21:24] Speaker A: When I got those results, I was like, holy shit. Like the weight of the world, you. [00:21:28] Speaker C: Know, kind of melting off my shoulder. Right. [00:21:30] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:21:32] Speaker C: You know, those are. [00:21:33] Speaker A: Those are. Those are W's, and you got to. [00:21:35] Speaker C: Take them where you can, you know? [00:21:38] Speaker A: But, like, it's. [00:21:39] Speaker C: It doesn't mean anything. Changes necessary, you know, you still got what you got. You still living with what you're living with, you know? [00:21:45] Speaker D: Amen. [00:21:47] Speaker A: But you can rest a little bit easier knowing that you've done everything that you could do. [00:21:52] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:21:52] Speaker C: And you were successful or whatever. PTSD has been around forever. I mean, forever. [00:21:58] Speaker A: The World War I, they called it, like, fog of war or shell shock or just kind of different variations of terms from, like, World War I to Vietnam. [00:22:06] Speaker C: But it wasn't until the 80s that they actually medically defined it as post Traumatic stress disorder, you know, so it's. It's still kind of a relative unknown. [00:22:17] Speaker A: It's been around forever, but they're just like, finally, like, going, oh, shit, this is actually something, you know, and. You know what I mean? Seriously, you know, science moves pretty slow, you know, and. [00:22:31] Speaker C: And because they, you know, they've got their process or whatever. But, you know, I would say because of that because of the relative newness of it being identified as its own specific thing, disorder or whatever people want to call it. [00:22:46] Speaker A: People even argue over whether it's a disorder or not. Let's stop arguing over what. What it is. Let's try to figure out how to fix it. Jesus Christ. [00:22:53] Speaker D: Yeah, because I'm thinking, like, if you have pancreatic cancer or something like that, that's definitely pancreatic cancer. No doubt about it, you know, so I. I understand. [00:23:06] Speaker A: It's very frustrating, the overall newness of. [00:23:09] Speaker C: Identifying and giving it a. Giving it, like an accurate, scientifically accurate name. I would say that combined with speed of science, they've got some things that. [00:23:19] Speaker A: Some treatments and therapies that they think works. [00:23:21] Speaker C: They haven't cracked the code yet. There's a lot of work to be done. [00:23:24] Speaker D: And everyone's different, too. Everyone responds to different things. I sucked at talk therapy. You know how they kind of lead you or they ask the questions that are supposed to lead you to unraveling the situation yourself, but, like, if you are that far in your head, you're not unraveling anything. You're unraveling yourself, trying to unravel. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Not just that, but, like, you're. You're pissed off and paranoid because whatever this guy's trying to do to you. [00:23:50] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:23:51] Speaker D: Yep. So there's. [00:23:53] Speaker C: There's. [00:23:54] Speaker B: And I. [00:23:54] Speaker A: Like I said, I've had, like, three or four. I've had three or four different therapists give up on me. [00:23:58] Speaker D: So, yeah, yeah, I've definitely been there. But when you do find that one person that says, no, I'm not giving up on you, like, that person in my health or mental health care journey saved my life. Like, she was the one that fought for me to get this medication that still isn't in the VA formulary. And it's. I've been on it, like, two years now, and it's been two years. Suicidal ideation free, depression free. All of that. But I hate to say it, but, like, if I was still in Houston and dealing with that va, I don't think we'd be chatting right now, which is terrifying. [00:24:42] Speaker A: Exactly. Right. I mean, so what moves slower than science? The government. Right. So even worse because we go through the va, right? But, like, so true. I sit here and I think, like, okay, you know, what's that magic number? And they, I think, even debate this number. The magic number over the last few years was 22. [00:25:04] Speaker C: Right? [00:25:05] Speaker A: Like, 22 veterans committing every day. Right. Whatever number you want to argue that to be, whether it's Higher or lower, it's still entirely too many. [00:25:16] Speaker D: One is too many. [00:25:17] Speaker A: Right. But the fact of the matter is, is that that stuff is happening because we have volunteered to put our lives in the line for the government and we saw some shit or experienced some shit that will forever change us, whether physically or invisibly, you know, mentally, emotionally, whatever. The. They're not actually equipped to, you know, resolve those things. Not really. [00:25:49] Speaker B: And there you have it. That was the second part of Brian's story. And I'm sure many of you can relate. I sure did. Especially with the drinking aspect that unfortunately, I think for many people is very easy to cope with drinking because it is readily available and it's also socially acceptable, especially if you're in college and a fraternity. Really thought the Blackout King nickname was funny until I realized I probably could. [00:26:17] Speaker D: Have been called the same, but a queen. [00:26:19] Speaker B: So thank you again to Brian for sharing that aspect of his journey. And we've got one more part. I did want to let you know that if you were interested in seeing the show in its entirety, just a full episode, you are more than welcome to join our Patreon community. You'll get first looks at behind the scenes information and videos, as well as new offers and giveaways as they come. And then also we have some exclusive resources just for that community. And when you join, you'll be getting a shout out on an episode of Silence Voices of mst. And again, just wanted to ask you to leave a review and as well leave a message for Brian. Just encourage him because as we know, it is terrifying to tell your story and it's just as hard to relive it as you're telling it. Thank you so much to Brian. Thank you to you. Our viewers and listeners do have one more update. So I was let go from my position at the va. I was on a probation still. I only had about a month ago, but here we are. So if you want to hit that donate button. [00:27:27] Speaker D: Thank you. That would make my life a little easier trying to keep the show going. [00:27:31] Speaker B: Anyway, y'all have a great Tuesday. Thank you so much for tuning in. And remember, your voice is your weapon in our fight against mst. We'll see you next time.